


Welcome to My Twisted Jam

by sadghosts



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Akashi is always channeling the blinking white guy gif, But he still cares, But we all knew that, Group chat, Kagami is oblivious, LIKE YESTERDAY, M/M, Unrequited Love, a slut in general, akashi takes no shit, for that shin-chan shaft, he doesnt really say that much tbh, he just likes to give them a hard time, hopefully everyone finds it funny, innuendos, kagami is a cinnamon roll, kuroko is still salty, kuroko wants that cinnamon roll in his ass, like the cringey ones, listen this is very gay, lots of :/, murasakibara has like two lines, obscene amount of emojis, takao is a meme fuck, takao is a slut for attention, to be tbh honest af as fuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-01-16 18:09:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12347883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadghosts/pseuds/sadghosts
Summary: Takao:No offense but what the fuck is this group chatKuroko changed the group chat name to A Mistake-the group chat fic no one asked for





	1. 911 it's kuroko i need some respecct

**Kuroko sent a picture to Ballers:**

**Kuroko:** I put our new mascot in the team jersey

 

**Kise:** ☆⌒ヽ(*'､^*)chu

**Kise:** Kurokocchii~~~~~~~ <3 <3 <3 what a cute doggo!!!

**Kise:** I can’t believe after all this time you care enough to message this dead group chat!!!

 

**Kuroko:**

**Kuroko:** wrong chat

 

**Kise:** ｡･ﾟﾟ*(>д<)*ﾟﾟ･｡

**Kise:** KUROKOCCHIIIII!!! You message us for the first time in months and it’s on ACCIDENT??!!

**Kise:** **(｡╯︵╰｡)**

 

**Aomine:** oh shit waddup is that air bud

 

**Kise:** aominecchi,,, that’s a Japanese uniform not American

 

**Midorima:** Aomine that’s not even the right dog breed.

 

**Aomine:** shut the fuck up they’re both dogs

 

**Kise:** there were like 12 air bud movies how could you get Buddy’s gender wrong

 

**Midorima:** ….gender?

 

**Kise:**

 

**Aomine:** good to know kise’s intelligence is still middle school level

 

**Midorima:** I am leaving if you guys start spamming this chat like you did in middle school

**Midorima:** I should have known something like this would happen

**Midorima:** Oha Asa predicted bad luck for Cancers today

 

**Kise** : (╥﹏╥) Midorimacchi how could you say that….. the first time we use this chat since middle school and you’re already nagging us

 

**Aomine:** i forgot about this chat entirely

 

**Kise:** ｡･ﾟﾟ*( >д<)*ﾟﾟ･｡ how could you forget about us???

 

**Midorima:** Yes please tell us I wish to forget too

 

**Akashi:** It’s good to see everyone is still aware of this chat.

**Akashi:** I hope everybody’s been practicing for the upcoming season.

 

**Murasakibara** : I will crush you all

 

**Kuroko** :

**Kuroko:** anyways

**Kuroko:** who are you people

 

**Kise:** what

 

**Kuroko:** sorry I deleted all the contacts i didn’t need :\

 

**Akashi:**

 

**Aomine:** what the fuck

 

**Kuroko:** new team who dis

 

**Midorima:** Real mature, Kuroko.

 

**Kuroko:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

**Akashi:** You should learn to respect your former teammates, Tetsuya.

 

**Kuroko:** what former teammates i don’t know who you guys are

 

**Kise:** (〃＞＿＜;〃)

 

**Aomine:** (¬ ¬ )

 

**Midorima:** ….

 

**Murisakibara:** remember when Kuroko used to be sweet

 

**Kuroko:** sorry the old kuroko can’t come to the group chat right now

**Kuroko:** why?

**Kuroko:** because he found a new team

 

**Kise:** holy shot

 

**Aomine:** Cute

 

**Akashi:** I hope your skills match your attitude on the court.

 

**Kise:** anywho

**Kise:** why the fuck is the group chat name “Ballers” who thought that was a good idea

 

**Aomine:** you were the one that chose it

 

**Kuroko:** #exposed

 

**Kise:** we should change it

 

**Kuroko:** why it’s not like we’re ever going to use this chat

 

**Midorima:** There’s always a possibility we will in the future. I think it’s a good idea to change the name to something more mature now that we are in high school.

 

**Kuroko changed the group chat name to Fuck You All, You Ruined Basketball**

 

**Aomine:**

**  
Kise:**

 

**Murasakibara:**

 

**Midorima:**

 

**Akashi:** So you do remember us

 

**Kuroko:** I suddenly don’t recall

 

**Kise changed the group chat name to Hey Let’s All Get Along**

 

**Kuroko changed the group chat name to Gross Old Team**

 

**Kise changed the group chat name to Best Team You Ever Had**

 

**Kuroko changed the group chat name to Hey Siri How do I block out Three Years from my Memory**

 

**Aomine:** tetsu what the fuck

**Aomine:** why are you so upset

 

**Kuroko:**

**Kuroko:**

**Kuroko:**

**Kuroko:**

**Kuroko:**

**Kuroko:**  well

 

**Akashi changed the group chat name to Generation of Miracles**

 

**Kuroko:** it all started out when I signed up for teiko middle school basketball

 

**Midorima:** You shouldn’t blame all of your problems on us.

 

**Kuroko:** fucking oops

 

**Kise:** ..・ヾ(。＞＜)シ

 

**Murasakibara:** did kurochin just cuss?

 

**Aomine:** what is that new team teaching you

 

**Kise:** where did our sweet innocent teammate go

 

**Kuroko:** Kagami taught me a lot more than cursing

 

**Midorima:**

 

**Murasakibara:**

 

**Kise:**

 

**Aomine:** whOm THE FUCK

 

**Kuroko:** anyway time to go walk Nigou to Kagami’s so I can fuck him

**Kuroko:** fuck with him*

 

**Aomine:** whaT THE FUCK

 

**Kuroko:** bye fam

 

**Kise:** he called us fam :)

 

**Kuroko:** …

**Kuroko:** fake fam*

 

**-Kuroko has left Generation of Miracles-**

 

* * *

 

**-Kise has added Kuroko to Generation of Miracles-**

 

**Kuroko:** when will i be free

**Kuroko:** #save kuroko 2017

 

**Kise:** ヾ(`ヘ´)ﾉﾞ

 

**Kuroko:** i’m lonely

 

**Aomine:** hey ;)

 

**Kuroko:**

**Kuroko:** bye hunty

 

**Kuroko has added Kagami to Generation of Miracles**

 

**Aomine:** the fuck

 

**Kuroko:** hey ;) kagami-kun ;;;) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (っ˘з(˘⌣˘ ) ♡

 

**Aomine:** the FUCK

 

**Kagami:** what the fuck is this

 

**Kuroko:** my exes

**Kuroko:** my ex teammates*

 

**Kagami:** ew

 

**Kuroko** : babE

**Kuroko:** marry me

 

**Aomine:** THE FUCK

 

**Kagami:** is that the only thing he can type

 

**Kuroko:** i don’t know i don’t even know these people

 

**Kagami:** didn’t you just say they were your exes?

 

**Kuroko:** there’s so many it’s hard to keep track

 

**Kise:** (ಥ﹏ಥ)

**  
Aomine:** meet me on the court kagami

 

**Murasakibara:** that’s mean Kurochin

 

**Kagami:** aww fuck yeah I love basketball let’s do it

 

**Aomine:** imma destroy yo ass

 

**Kuroko:** can’t do any more damage than I did last night

 

**Kise:** !!!!!!!!1

 

**Kagami:** please kuroko i totally beat you in the game last night

 

**Kuroko:** i’d let you beat me anytime tbh

 

**Aomine:** WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE

 

**Kagami:** kuroko :\ you should always try your hardest in every game, cmon man

 

**Kuroko:** i will cum on as long as the man is you

 

**Aomine:** WHO THE FUCK TAUGHT YOU THIS SHIT TETSU

 

**Kuroko:** kagami

 

**Kagami:** wait a fucking minute

 

**Midorima:** Keep this PG 13 or Takao will accuse me of having a sugar daddy again.

 

**Kise:** again? midorimacchi??

 

**Midorima:** It’s not up for discussion.

 

**Kuroko:** i want a sugar daddy

 

**Aomine:** ;)

 

**Kuroko:** ew

**Kuroko** : kagami will you buy me a vanilla milkshake

**Kuroko:** i’ll suck something else in return

 

**Kagami:** sure

**Kagami** : wait what

 

**Kuroko:** :)

 

**Aomine** : :(

 

**Kise:** kuroko what happened to you

 

**Kuroko** : being dumped by five different guys kind of changes you

 

**Aomine:**

**Aomine:** what the fuck we never dumped you

**Aomine:** we just graduated middle school??

 

**Kuroko:** in other, fake, news

 

**Kise:**  what’s this nickname feature and why aren’t we using it

 

**Midorima:** Please, God, no.

**Midorima:** just one good day

 

**Kuroko:** you again? give it a rest buddy.

 

**Midorima:** You sound like Takao.

 

**Kuroko:** your side ho?

 

**Kise:** I think takao is probably his main ho at this point

 

**Kagami** : ??

 

**Aomine:** how does anyone even put up with midorima

 

**Kuroko:** more like puts out for midorima

 

**Midorima:** Kuroko can you not.

 

**Kuroko:** you can’t tell me what to do you’re not my vice captain anymore.

 

**Akashi:** Tetsuya.

 

**Kuroko:** you’re not my dad Akashi

 

**Akashi:** I could be.

 

**Kuroko:**

**Kuroko:**

**Kuroko:**

**Kuroko:** let me get back to you on that

 

**Aomine:** hold up

 

**Kise has changed his name to CopyCatQueen**

 

**CopyCatQueen** : (´ ω `♡)

 

**CopyCatQueen changed Midorima’s name to Carrot**

 

**Kuroko:** accurate

 

**Aomine:** HAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

 

**Carrot:** What

**Carrot:** Change this immediately.

 

**CopyCatQueen:** sorry midorimacchi you’ll have to change it yourself~~~ ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

 

**Aomine:** fucking savage

 

**Kagami:** I don’t get it

 

**Kuroko:** ...it’s a good thing you’re pretty Kagami.

 

**Murasakibara:** I think the name suits you Midochin.

 

**Carrot:** Someone tell me how to change this.

 

**Kuroko:** Go to settings and click “Leave Group”

 

**Carrot:** Thank you, Kuroko.

**Carrot:**

**Carrot:**

**Carrot:** Dammit.

**Carrot:** That’s it, you all have forced my hand. I’m bringing in reinforcements.

 

**Carrot has added Takao to the chat**

 

**Kise:** God save us

 

**Kuroko:** God is dead and you killed him.

 

**Takao:** what in the snickity snack frickity frack

**Takao:** Shin-chan is this why you’ve been on your phone more recently

**Takao:** wait

**Takao:** motherfucking carrOTWHAT TH E FUCK

**Takao:** HAHAHHAHODHSFOVHFSHVOSHOVZHHV;EWDHVS;HV

 

**Kagami:** is he okay

 

**Aomine:** are any of Midorima’s friends okay

 

**Carrot:** Harsh.

**Carrot:** Takao tell me how to change my name.

 

**Takao:** sorry i’m too busy dying

 

**Kuroko:** relatable

 

**Takao:** this guy gets it

**Takao:** honestly it’s cute tho maybe i’ll start calling you that instead of Shin-Chan ;;;)))

 

**Carrot:** I’d rather you not.

 

**Takao:** oh ye sss bby i love it when you beg

 

**CopyCatQueen** : this chat is getting a little full.

 

**Aomine** : yeah. remember when we had standards in who we hung out with.

 

**Kuroko** : I obviously never had any in middle school

 

**Takao** : HOLY-

**Takao** : Kuroko when did you become a savage

 

**Kagami** : I thought kuroko always acted this way

 

**CopyCatQueen** : he didn’t always…. he used to be our sweet little teammate… so pure… so good ｡ﾟ･ (>﹏<) ･ﾟ｡

 

**Carrot** : Kise, he was literally never like that.

 

**CopyCatQueen** : Sometimes I can still hear middle school Kuroko…. encouraging me… praising me…. telling me how good I’m doing…..

 

**Kuroko** : I need an adult.

 

**Aomine** : Kise stop being a crepe

 

**Kagami** : fuck me i love crepes

 

**Aomine** : creep*

 

**Kagami** : oh :(

 

**Kuroko** : Kagami you sweet summer child

 

**Takao** : No offense but what the fuck is this group chat

 

**Kuroko changed the group chat name to A Mistake**

 

**Kuroko:** ^

 

**Takao:** kuroko damn

**Takao:** this a new side of you I’ve never seen before

**Takao:** get you a man who can do both

 

**Carrot:** (¬ ¬ )

 

**Takao:** shIN-CHAN DID YOU JUST PROPERLY USE AN EMOJI I AM SO PROUD

 

**Carrot:** If you aren’t going to be of help then please leave.

 

**Takao:** 。゜゜(´Ｏ`) ゜゜。 how could you say that you know how I feel you know that i’m trying

 

**Kuroko:** honestly if you’re going to use outdated memes takao you can gladly gtfo

 

**Takao:** i want to stick around for this shit show

**Takao:** and if Kagami’s here I have every right to be as well

 

**Aomine:** no one even wants kagami here tbh

 

**Kuroko:** excuse you

**Kuroko:** also who uses tbh anymore

 

**Takao:** to be tbh honest kuroko is right af as fuck

 

**Carrot:** How do I delete something someone else said.

 

**Takao:** :( Shin-chan :(

 

**Takao changed Carrot’s name to Midorima**

 

**Midorima:** I suppose you can stay.

 

**Takao:** man after my own heart

 

**Kuroko:** ^ me @ kagami

 

**Kagami:** wat

 

**Aomine:** >:(

 

**CopyCatQueen:** Aominecchi did you really just type out that angry emoji what kind of heathen savagery

 

**Kuroko:** i only date men who use real emojis

 

**Takao:** i only date men period.

 

**Kagami:** why did you type out period why not just put .

**Kagami:** also i like punctuation emojis :-)

 

**Kuroko:** suddenly I am interested in men who use any emoji

 

**Aomine:** ;;;)

 

**Kuroko:** except ;;;) that’s tasteless

 

**Aomine:** okay is it just fuck with aomine day why are you being so salty

 

**Kuroko:**

**Kuroko:**

**Kuroko:** pick up a yearbook :\

 

**Takao:** yeah :\ aomine :\ pick up :\ a mother:\fucking:\ yearbook :\

 

**CopyCatQueen:** :\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ yeah aomine :\\\\\\\\\

 

**Murasakibara:** :\

 

**Midorima:** \:

 

**Kagami:** :\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

 

**Akashi:** If I see that emoji one more time.

 

**Kuroko:**

 

**Takao:** ho don’t do it

 

**Kuroko:** :\

 

**Takao:** ohmygod

 

**Akashi:** Tetsuya

 

**Kuroko:** What are you gonna do about it

 

**Akashi:**

**Akashi:**     :\

 

**Kuroko:** :0

 

**Takao:** I GASPED

**Takao:** how the tables have tabled

 

**Kuroko:** never in all my years of suffering would i have expected this

 

**Akashi:** Kuroko, you're only 16.

 

**CopyCatQueen:** I screenshotted it for preservation.

**CopyCatQueen:** it’s going to be everyone’s future birthday present

 

**Takao:** talk about spoilers

 

**Midorima:** I did not expect Akashi to use an emoji.

 

**Aomine:** this is getting a little too weird for me

 

**Kuroko:** and just weird enough for me

 

**Takao:** damn kuroko, u a freak

 

**Kagami:** that’s not nice apologize

 

**Kuroko:** god i’m such a slut for a man who stands up for me

 

**Aomine:** ┬┴┬┴┤( ͡° ͜ʖ├┬┴┬┴

 

**Takao:** I’m just a slut .

 

**Kagami:** you took my advice :)

 

**Takao:** anything for you babe

 

**Kagami:**  um

 

**Midorima:** ‘Babe’?

 

**Kagami:** Kindly fuck off

 

**Takao:** okay we all know who I’m really here for so please learn to take a joke

 

**Kuroko:** you just admitted to being a slut so i’m taking a fucking sip

 

**Takao:** tru

 

**Midorima:** When will I be released from the hell known as this group chat.

 

**Kuroko:** I ask myself that everyday.

 

**Aomine:** This chat has only been revived for two days calm down.

 

**Kuroko:** why don’t you make me

 

**Aomine:**

**Aomine:** was that an invitation

 

**Kuroko:**

**Kuroko:** anyway so kagami are we still on for maji burger tomorrow

 

**Kagami:** hell yeah

 

**Aomine:** (눈_눈)

 

**Murasakibara:** I like the cookies there

 

**Takao:** who doesn’t to be tbh honest they’re great af as fuck

 

**Kuroko:** in all seriousness takao you have to stop with the unnecessary abbreviations

 

**Takao:** just say the safe word bby and i’ll stop

 

**Aomine:** what’s the safe word

 

**Takao:** Carrot ;)

 

**Midorima:** I’m quitting the basketball team.

 

**Takao:** SHIN-CHAN

 

**Akashi:** I would call you out Midorima if only I could remember your first name.

 

**Takao:** I literally just said it  >:\

 

**Akashi:** Are you questioning me

 

**Takao:** You guys take shin-chan for granted i’m just saying

 

**Akashi:** Hm.

 

**Takao:**

**Takao:**

**Takao:**

**Takao:**

**Takao:** kuroko help, i’m scared

 

**Midorima:** Why would you ask Kuroko for help and not your own teammates?

 

**Takao:** because I don’t want you to fucking die Shin-chan

 

**Midorima:** Akashi wouldn’t kill me

**Midorima:**

**Midorima:** Probably.

 

**Kuroko:** you owe me takao

**Kuroko:** hey kise remember than one time you called Akashi a hobbit

 

**CopyCatQueen:** KUROKOCCHI

 

**Akashi:**

 

**CopyCatQueen:** WHY WOULD YOU BRING THAT UP

**CopyCatQueen:** AKASHI I WAS ONLY FOOLING AROUND I DIDN’T MEAN IT

**CopyCatQueen:** I’M SORRY

 

**Akashi:**

 

**CopyCatQueen:** I’M SO SORRY

 

**Aomine:** _rest in fucking pieces kise_

 

**Takao:** it’s been real. It’s been fun

 

**CopyCatQueen:** I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING FROM YOU THIS IS YOUR FAULT

 

**Takao:** Kuroko is literally the who who bought it up

 

**CopyCatQueen:** I STILL BLAME YOU FOR ENCOURAGING HIM

 

**Takao:** will the generation of miracles ever see the flaws in their precious phantom? find out next time

 

**Kuroko:** what flaws

 

**Aomine:** what flaws?

 

**Kagami:** phantom? sick blood + reference my dude

 

**Takao:** i’m going to kermit

 

**CopyCatQueen:** I’m right there with you buddy

 

**Akashi:** I will be sure to make it look exactly like you committed.

 

**CopyCatQueen:** hey siri is it possible to kill someone through a computer

 

**Akashi:** Most definitely.

 

**CopyCatQueen:** I leave everything to Kasamatsu-Senpai and Kurokocchi.

 

**Kuroko:** thanks I’m sure the homeless people will appreciate the fire I’ll make for them from all of the shit you leave to me.

 

**Kagami:** why not just give the homeless people the shit instead of burning it

 

**Kuroko:**

**Kuroko:** good idea babe

 

**Aomine:** :\

 

**Akashi** : We are NOT doing that again.

 

**Kuroko:** yes daddy

 

**Aomine:**

 

**Kagami:**

 

**Takao:**

 

**Midorima:**

 

**CopyCatQueen:**

 

**Murasakibara:**

 

**Kuroko:** akashi*

 

**Akashi:** Same difference.


	2. The Story of How Takao Died

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Takao:** y’all be serious I am SCARED
> 
>  **Takao:** Where’s shin-chan when you need him ｡･ﾟﾟ*( >д<)*ﾟﾟ･｡
> 
>  
> 
>  **CopyCatQueen:** closer than you think prob

**CopyCatQueen sent a photo to A Mistake:** _IMG_1114_

**CopyCatQueen:** good morning everyone~~~~  °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖° I know you’re all thrilled to see my beautiful face first thing  °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

 

**Takao:** kise wtf it’s like 4:36 am

 

**CopyCatQueen:** EArly bird gets the worm :)

 

**Takao:** does it count if you haven’t even gone to bed

 

**CopyCatQueen:** (°ロ°) !

 

**Midorima:** Idiot, go to bed. 

 

**Takao:** sleep is for the weak

 

**Midorima:** You are weak

 

**Takao:** ..tru

**Takao:** gnite

 

**CopyCatQueen:** this sleeping schedule isn’t good for your skin  .･ﾟﾟ･(／ω＼)･ﾟﾟ･. I can recommend some skin care products if you want???

 

**Takao:** you would help out,, your sworn rival,,,ur arch nemesis 

 

**CopyCatQueen:** hey clear skin is important

 

**Takao:** is it possible to fall in love in .2 seconds 

 

 **CopyCatQueen:** .･ﾟﾟ･(／ω＼)･ﾟﾟ･.

 

**Midorima:** Takao, go to bed.

 

**Takao:** k babe

**Takao:**

**Takao:** Kise dm me the deets

 

 **Kise:** .･ﾟﾟ･(／ω＼)･ﾟﾟ･.

 

**Takao:** slide up in my dms bby 

 

**Midorima:** DM? As in dungeon master? 

 

**Takao:** SHINCHAN

**Takao:** DO YOU LIKE

**Takao:** DO YOU PLAY D &D??!!

**Takao:** CONFDIRMED NERD LMAO 

 

**Midorima:** You must be dreaming. 

 

**Takao:** I do dream about you often so 

**Takao:** not far off to be tbh honest af as fuck 

**Takao:** they usually start out differently 

**Takao:** all end the same way tho ;)

 

**Midorima:** Takao.

 

**Takao:** ok bby i’m really going to bed this time gnight

 

**CopyCatQueen:** sweet dreams  (≧◡≦)

 

**Kuroko:** If I hear my phone go off one more time before eight o’clock I’m going to mcFreaking lose it

 

**Takao:** geT OUTTA YO MIND

 

**Kuroko:** damn takao are you a vine coinissiour 

 

**Takao:** bitch i might be

 

**Kuroko:**

**Kuroko:** that’s

 

**Takao:** free real estate

 

**Kuroko:** back

 

**Takao:** at it again at krispy kreme

 

**Kuroko:** showertime

 

**Takao:** adderall

 

**Kuroko:** a glass of whiskey

 

**Takao:** and decent jeans

 

**CopyCatQueen:** what language are you two speaking

 

**Takao:** vine

 

**Kuroko:** vine is dead and so am I

 

**Midorima:** Takao if you don’t go to bed on your own I will go to your house and make you

 

**Kuroko:** Midorima wants to sleep with Takao confirmed

 

**Takao:** be gentle it’s my first time

 

**Midorima:**

**Midorima:** no it isn’t

 

**CopyCatQueen** :  Σ(°ロ°)

**CopyCatQueen:** and how would you know that midorimacchi??!!

 

**Aomine:** cuz they fucced

 

**Takao:** when they ask you how you are and you just have to say that you’re fine when you’re not really fine but you just can’t get into it because they would never understand

 

**Kagami:** good morning i made pancakes

 

**Kuroko:** i am cumming over to eat pancakes

 

**Kagami:** okay :) 

 

**Aomine:** i wuld make u pancakes js

 

**Kuroko:** like i would eat your gross slimmy-ass disgusting smelly outdated hairy flimsy flaccid misshapen 

**Kuroko:** pancakes

 

**Takao:** for a hot second I thought you were gonna say dick

 

**Kuroko:** same

 

**Kagami:** i didn’t know you cooked

 

**Aomine:** I can cook better than your bitch ass can

 

**Kuroko:** do u wanna fucking go

 

**Aomine:** out? Yes I can pick you up at five

 

 **Kuroko:** (；⌣̀_⌣́)

 

**Kagami:** hold up

 

**Takao:** that was almost smooth aomine

**Takao:** where did shin-chan go

 

 **Kuroko:** (￢ ￢)

 

**CopyCatQueen:** be careful takao maybe he’ll follow through on his threat

 

**Takao:** his threat?

**Takao:** wtf who’s knocking at my door

**Takao:** it’s literally 5 am

 

 **Kuroko:** (¬ ¬ )

 

 **Kagami:** (¬ ¬ )

 

 **CopyCatQueen:** (¬ ¬ )

 

**Kuroko:** oh my fucking god she fucking dead

 

**Takao:** ok guys seriously someone was at the door and?? My family’s out of town i’m home alone and scared

**Takao:** ｡･ﾟﾟ*(>д<)*ﾟﾟ･｡

 

**Aomine:** yeah you should be careful idk if you could fight off a burglar

 

**Kuroko:** tbh to be tbh honest aomine is right af as fuck 

 

**Takao:** y’all be serious I am SCARED 

**Takao:** Where’s shin-chan when you need him  ｡･ﾟﾟ*(>д<)*ﾟﾟ･｡

 

**CopyCatQueen:** closer than you think prob 

 

**Takao:** WHAWT THE FUCK I THINK THEYRE’ IN ;MY HOUSE

**Takao:**  SOMEONE CALL THE COPS

 

**Aomine:** do it yourself 

 

**Takao:** I LITERALY HEAR THEM COMING UP THE STAIRS GUYS I AM NOT JOKING PLEASE HLEP

 

**Kuroko:** hm

**Kuroko:** better hide or smth i guess 

 

**Takao:** IM CRYING GUYS PLEASE SEN DHLEP

**Takao:** wait did i lock my doORsSSDLFJSOFIJOJR;WOIJVA;OEJIS;VDOAJ;EDIJS;OIEWJRFB;OG FIJBLRGFSJV ;DLKJB;FSOILJKCM

 

**Kagami:** did he die

  
**Kuroko:** hm guess so

 

 **CopyCatQueen:** rip in pieces

 

**Midorima:** Takao has now gone to bed.

**Midorima:** I would advise the rest of you to actually start your day and get off this god forsaken chat. 

 

**Kuroko:** Kagami i’m almost at your house

 

**Kagami:** Ok I will leave the door unlocked :) 

 

**Kuroko:** <3 

**Kuroko:** I brought Nigou

 

**Kagami:** keep him outside

 

**Kuroko:** but it’s raining :(

 

**Kagami:** damn i can feel your puppy eyes through the phone

**Kagami:** just keep him away from me 

 

**Kuroko:** he justs wants to love you 

 

**Aomine:** sounds like someone else I know

 

**Kuroko:** don’t you ever compare yourself to my dog ever again

 

**Takao:** I wish someone would make me pancakes :(

 

**Midorima:** Takao.

 

**Takao:** oops i’m supposed to be sleeping

**Takao:** oops i mean i’m sleeeping see zzzzzzzzzz

**Takao:** also we are in the same room why aren’t we just talking face to face

 

**CopyCatQueen:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**CopyCatQueen:** in your room?? Midorimacchi are you staying the night?? You sly dog

 

**Takao:** technically he’s staying the morning

 

**Midorima:** only because you won’t go to BED 

 

**CopyCatQueen:** hmm sounds like something you can help him with midorimacchi ;))))

 

**Takao:** is this what it’s like to have a wingman 

 

**Kuroko:** kise can you be my wingman too kagami is clueless af as fuck

 

**Aomine:** >:I

 

**Kagami:** Kuroko dont text at the table

 

**Kuroko:** sorry babe

 

**Kagami:** It’s alright I’m not mad :) 

 

**Aomine:** _ >:l _

 

**CopyCatQueen has changed Aomine’s name to JealousHoe**

 

**JealousHoe:** what the fuck

 

**Midorima:** how fitting

**Midorima:** you used the wrong ‘ho’ idiot

 

**Kuroko:** no he didn’t

**Kuroko:** A hoe is a tool and so is Aomine

 

**JealousHoe:** when will I get the respect I deserve

 

**Kuroko:** when will you actually deserve any respect

 

**CopyCatQueen:** even I felt that burn like damn

 

**JealousHoe:** I came out to have a good time and i’m honestly feeling so attacked right now

 

**Kuroko:** using memes won’t make me like you

 

**Takao:** oh shit waddup are we talking memes

 

**Midorima:** TAKAO

 

**Takao:** ,,,,,hit me up in the dms fam

 

**CopyCatQueen has changed Midorima’s name to TakaoKeeper**

**CopyCatQueen has changed Takao’s name to MemeKeeper**

**CopyCatQueen has changed Kuroko’s name to KagamiKreeper**

**CopyCatQueen has changed Kagami’s name to Pure Good and Wholesome**

 

**KagamiKreeper:** I did not consent to this

 

**Pure Good and Wholesome:** the fuck

 

**JealousHoe:** why does bakagami get the only good nickname

 

**CopyCatQueen:** have you seen his emojis??? never seen something more family friendly

 

**Pure Good and Wholesome** : I thought the emojis were supposed to be 

**Pure Good and Wholesome:** like

**Pure Good and Wholesome** : flirty?

**Pure Good and Wholesome:**

**Pure Good and Wholesome:** Kuroko just spit out his orange juice gross

**Pure Good and Wholesome:** I’m not cleaning that up

 

**JealousHoe:** I’d let kuroko spit on me 

 

**MemeKeeper:** to be tbh honest same 

 

**CopyCatQueen:** *af as fuck

 

**MemeKeeper:** suddenly I have a new favorite generation of miracle

**MemeKeeper:** shin-chan i was kiddinGSHINCHAN

 

**CopyCatQueen:** and that is the story of how Takao died

 

**KagamiKreeper:** man i wish that were me 

 

**Akashi:** Don’t we all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "next chapter shouldn't take too long to have out," she says.  
> are we allowed to apologize??????? no??????? i get it.  
> for real I'm really sorry I'm never promising anything ever again  
> really we appreciate every single comment and kudos!! it's just that school and work got in the way and like. yeah, life just happens :(  
> ANYWAYS IM DONE WITH EXCUSES. thank you so much for sticking around <3


End file.
